I also have been thinking a lot. That is very bad. I have been told by a lot of people that I think way too much. And it is true. I over-think ever single thing that I do. I just hate to be unprepared and because of that I always have to plan ahead. It is really bad and I really need to change. Hopefully I can change. I want to change. I need to change. I am hurting the people around me and some more than others.
I think I can make an internal decision. I am not sure, but I am leaning more to the yes. It is just, that while I think I have an answer, I don't want to admit it or say anything and then not truly mean it. I have to know exactly what I want before I say anything. And it is so difficult cause I want everyone to be happy. I hate it when others feel sad/bad/angry and it hurts me when I am the cause of it. I really just need to turn into Peter Pan. That boy doesn't have those problems, he crushes on Wendy and they are fine. He knows what he wants. He doesn't want to grow up and he is set. I want to be set.
Really, I do.