I have been told to just do, not think. So that is what I am doing, I'm just do-ing. And so far I have been doing a good job of it. Like I mean I haven't really thought much about anything. I am really handy like that. Well also I have been driven into a pit of boredom from nothing to do around the house, and me not wanting to do the housework cause I can't get my music working properly.
Well I made a decision based upon the do philosophy. It was a very big decision. It was a decision about life, the universe, and everything in it. Now that I am looking at the consequences of my decision, I am not sure whether I made the right one. I mean, come on. Should I have eaten the last of the peanut butter, or leave it for Daisy to eat. This decision is really eating me up. Oh dear, that was a terrible pun. I feel disgusting.
I mean, if I am in my 'do' state of mind, then my brain says that I have made a fantastic decision. However if I switch brains and go into 'think' mode, then my brain says, I should have left that peanut butter in the pantry and never go back to it. But no, I want back to the peanut butter.
Now that I have it, I don't know whether my stomach can handle all of the peanut butter. Like, will my system accept or reject the food source. I don't know and I need help. But at the same time I do know. However I am going to stay in the 'do' state of mind because that is was humanity wants of me. And it is really fun being in the 'do' mind, cause the peanut butter taste's great. Yet when I slip back into 'think' mind, I can see that if I finish this tub of peanut butter, I will feel terrible at the end.
Either way I suffer pain and I can't tell which is worse. I mean, I put the peanut butter back now, but then people see it as cruel. I finish it off and then put it back, but it is cruel. Either way it is cruel, and I deserve to rot in peanut butter hell.
But on other news the other day I scraped skin off my finger. It really hurts when I move me finger. It's getting better though. I got my new wallet. It is a pirate designed wallet. I think that it is the bee's knees. I leave for London in less that 13 days. Oh my dear Lord that is less than 2 weeks. I have two junk mail deliveries left and I am completing one of them later today/tomorrow. I miss certain friends. I need to see them like now. I am seeing Nicole on Monday, that will be great because I haven't seen her since last year. It is incredibly intense.
For you nerds out there, if there are any nerds, I have put in a reference to a Douglas Adam's book. From the Hitchhikers series. Who is able to find the reference? Who has actually read all of this? I have ranted for a long time and it has just gone on 1:23am.
I want to be able to do the right thing, but when I look at myself and try to make the right decision, all I see is a complete asshole, just staring back at me through the mirror. And I loathe that person. With every cell of my body.